Why'd they want me here in the first place?!!?

Urrghhh... it's just frustrating... first off, they do not pay for my tutor fee and study expenses, then they want me to work under them for 4 years. FINE!! I can adapt to that as well. Not a problem as long as I get my license when I'm done serving my time.

But that's not the end to it. Since I'm going to serve them, why can't they just put me in some place where I am happy with. Yes, they can't be pleasing everyone, but why the extreme?? THE OTHER FREAKING END OF THE WORLD??!!?? and they don't put the living expenses into consideration. People sent to work across the sea may get RM 800-900 extra and we get nuts. Worst off, I have to be specifically be post into a small district hospital which is freaking secluded and a place I don't think I can make many friends. Furthermore, my allowances have to be lower than those working in the city K.L. as the living expenses here SHOULD be lower. Don't they consider that we are already sent far from home and we have to use MONEY to pay for trips back home??!!?? They think we have no families to go back to??

Okay, besides being foreign to the place I work, they have to send me to a place where I cannot understand their language!! How the hell am I supposed to counsel any patients when all they do is look at my face??!!!?? Are they supposed to be suppressing my role after I've spent RM 200 thousand to get my freaking degree???!!?? Don't this state have their own people who took my course?? Why don't they want to come back?? Isn't it a problem that their own people do not want to come back??

Making work in a place I do not feel happy with, do they think it'll make me ever consider to stay in their service? Besides, the pace of the people here is really unbearable!!! How can so little things be done at such a long time?? How can the higher ups take their own sweet time and not fulfilling their role whilst making people under them do all their job?? Is this even fair?? They get paid higher than us, they can take leave and complaint when we do, they can not do things they don't like whilst asking us not to be selfish!! Whao!! what a great service I'm under!! By the way, how can they get so high when they can probably do nothing??

I'm getting demotivated daily and if this goes on, I think I might start to rot inside and become a pile of unmotivated ash. In my service where I'm supposed to learn from my higher ups, I'm now learning by myself and this applies to all my colleagues. Why?? because every question will go unanswered or they will brush you off with some vague answers!! Damn it!! Aren't they supposed to be professionals?? Vague answers for a person under training?? My my.. aren't they doing a good job producing a batch of new human resource??