What do I do these days???

It's been more than a year since I was posted into the jungle, to be precise, as of today, it's been a year and 19 days... and yet, with no sign of a transfer, I'm still stuck here. Yes, I'm counting the days. It's what desperate people do. The same reason why prisoners carve lines on the wall noting the pass of each day.

Well, what do I actually do here then? Nothing much actually. Nothing much can be done here anyways, since I'm so far away from friends and family, oh and most importantly, so far from civilization... Of course I'm exaggerating, they have schools here, estates, some food stalls, and ermm... well nothing interesting. So this past year, what I do daily has become, what they call it?... a routine... Not that I don't have much work to do. The workload here is enough to keep me occupy... for the day of course. So daily, I'll usually work till 6.30pm or 7.00pm. That is usually, when I have to manage my stock and do ordering. Sometimes, I'll be lazy and come back right after work.

Reaching home, I'll relax with some old mangas or animes (yup I'm thus pathetic). Then around 7 to 7.30pm, I'll start cooking. I don't think I enjoy cooking here as much as I did before. The environment is one thing, then there is the fatigue from work, the lack of ingredients and lastly, in the end I'll be only cooking for one... no need to make a big deal out of it.

Dinner will usually be accompanied by movies or series that Jen, my dear, so kindly provide or from wherever I could scavenge from. Then, I'll follow on with either the movie, or mangas, or now that I have connection, slow as it may be, surf the net until 10pm when I go collect water for my shower. Sometime before that I will have the joy of talking to my dear and then more after my shower till I finally go to bed at 11.30pm. It's these conversations that makes me feel not so lonely during such isolation.

The next morning I wake at 6.54am, with the aid of my alarm and a morning call from Jen and well... what did I say about a routine... That's me sitting my ass and growing by the inch, sideways that is, daily. I'm not even motivated enough to exercise... Sigh... Only sometimes will I go do something else like washing my car or so which now seems to take more effort than before...

Damn... I seriously need help

PS. I too noticed that my blogs turn sour when I started working with the 'you know who'... Better not say it or they might lock me up without trial...

It's durian season!!

It's been so long since I last posted anything here. Well, it's same old over here. Working in Pahang is really not a bad thing. Pahang for one is a beautiful state with most of it's natural beauty un-defiled. But, well, that's also another part which scared the shit out of me. What do you expect from a kid born and bred in a concrete jungle? Most fellow pharmacists I find working in this state regardless of how secluded they are, they seem to be giving their best in improving the image of the profession. It may well be due to well, us having a good TPK and also... Pahang is really a big state and there are only very few of us. So we may see each other more often and feed on each others positive thoughts as motivation to strive on.

Anyhow, it's durian season now in Pelangai!! and well, I've been having some myself. All thanks to the very very friendly "ah soh" from Mancis. She has been taking very good care of me. *sometimes up to a point where it scares the shit out of me too....* *Ahem...* As I was saying, she did bring me quite a number of fruits from around here; papaya which she claimed someone gave her but she cannot finish, durian which she claimed fall off the trees in her rubber estate, mangoes which she got from "who knows where" *I forgot what she said...*; all which she forced into my hands when I politely decline. Well, I was glad though, I got to taste plenty of good stuff. It kind of relieve me from the stress I get working here.

Oh, since I mentioned about work... for people who I once heard saying, "K.K. has nothing much to do wan... you are pretty much the boss there and it's quite free...", you really have NOT worked in a K.K. before haven't you?!?

petty thoughts...

It seems like history's repeating itself... and for that, I'm afraid. But if things are to happen, then it shall for I have no energy left to stop it...

I've got connection

At last!!!.. Praise the technology!! now everyone can go online regardless of where they are... Look at me!! ahahaha in the jungle and I'm online... well there are setbacks. First and most important, it's freaking slow. I took the 3.6Mb package and I've tested it... it's only running on 30kbps max d/l... WTF!! yes... sigh.. well i guess it's better than nothing.

They did promise at least 15x faster than dial-up. But I guess that only applies in the big towns. Must have written it off in some fine prints. Yet again, what more can I aspect? I'm in the middle of the freaking jungle!

I'm trying out Maxis Broadband now. I remembered the guy telling me, "if you have a full bar for your mobile phone, then you'll get EDGE connection which is faster than GPRS( the normal connection for all mobile phones)" Pffhtt... empty promises... can't blame him though... he's just selling. Never been here before, so I guess he wouldn't know that there are still places like this and still there are people settling here.

Well, as for myself, it's really very confusing emotions... happy cause i got connected, yet frustrated cause a page takes thousand years to load... Kinda remind me of my secondary years when the internet is something new...

Disappointment

In life, there are many hopes. And with hopes, comes disappointments as well. The amount of disappointments one must face in life is indeed too much to count. The disappointment of not getting the best things in life, disappointment of not getting to work where one likes, disappointment of not being able to please everyone, disappointment of not having enough time, disappointment of not having enough money, etc etc… and the list goes on. Disappointments like these, one can choose to get over with and get on with life, or, hang on to and have a miserable time.

However the disappointment that hurts most must be, I guess, having the person one cares about, love and trust most, not understanding what one is going through and thinks one as a disappointment oneself.

Sigh... Disappointment really causes extreme fatigue... *yawn*

Why'd they want me here in the first place?!!?

Urrghhh... it's just frustrating... first off, they do not pay for my tutor fee and study expenses, then they want me to work under them for 4 years. FINE!! I can adapt to that as well. Not a problem as long as I get my license when I'm done serving my time.

But that's not the end to it. Since I'm going to serve them, why can't they just put me in some place where I am happy with. Yes, they can't be pleasing everyone, but why the extreme?? THE OTHER FREAKING END OF THE WORLD??!!?? and they don't put the living expenses into consideration. People sent to work across the sea may get RM 800-900 extra and we get nuts. Worst off, I have to be specifically be post into a small district hospital which is freaking secluded and a place I don't think I can make many friends. Furthermore, my allowances have to be lower than those working in the city K.L. as the living expenses here SHOULD be lower. Don't they consider that we are already sent far from home and we have to use MONEY to pay for trips back home??!!?? They think we have no families to go back to??

Okay, besides being foreign to the place I work, they have to send me to a place where I cannot understand their language!! How the hell am I supposed to counsel any patients when all they do is look at my face??!!!?? Are they supposed to be suppressing my role after I've spent RM 200 thousand to get my freaking degree???!!?? Don't this state have their own people who took my course?? Why don't they want to come back?? Isn't it a problem that their own people do not want to come back??

Making work in a place I do not feel happy with, do they think it'll make me ever consider to stay in their service? Besides, the pace of the people here is really unbearable!!! How can so little things be done at such a long time?? How can the higher ups take their own sweet time and not fulfilling their role whilst making people under them do all their job?? Is this even fair?? They get paid higher than us, they can take leave and complaint when we do, they can not do things they don't like whilst asking us not to be selfish!! Whao!! what a great service I'm under!! By the way, how can they get so high when they can probably do nothing??

I'm getting demotivated daily and if this goes on, I think I might start to rot inside and become a pile of unmotivated ash. In my service where I'm supposed to learn from my higher ups, I'm now learning by myself and this applies to all my colleagues. Why?? because every question will go unanswered or they will brush you off with some vague answers!! Damn it!! Aren't they supposed to be professionals?? Vague answers for a person under training?? My my.. aren't they doing a good job producing a batch of new human resource??

Field work...

Last week I went to do enforcement field work in Machang. This is where I stayed. Have a look at Machang. This is how most parts of Kelantan look like.

Kelantan at dawn...

This is what I see every morning when I go to work....

The row I live in...

The street behind my row...

Yes, we do live in a city...

Summer?? here???

Urrghh... it's been a really torturing weekend... It's hot, there have been no sign of rain for the whole week, and the blood sucking critters are swarming everywhere. If it weren't for the repellant mats I switch on every night, I'd have sleepless nights, one, due to the freaking hot weather, and two, because I'd be a freaking buffet table. I wonder why mosquitoes just can't leave me alone. Is it because my blood is sweeter? My pheromones are more aromatic? I get no peace from these buggers....

What's happening to the world?... I don't remember Malaysia being able to achieve this kind of heat before??...

It's burning....

When did Malaysia got this hot???!!?? Did one year in Glasgow changed my perception in temperature?? Urrgghh.... *crazily fanning self* the dry spell had just only started and it's already this hot... What if we get in the middle of it? Man... a cold beer would be nice.... ice blended frappaccino... ice kacang... *drool*.... air-con in my room... *sweat*....

*O_o*.... *heatstroke + dehydration = loss of consciousness*

How's the dog going to do in the boar's year?

Came accross something amusing today in the papers. Know how the papers and other medias will get fortune tellers or 'feng shui sifu's to talk about how people born under each of the twelve zodiac animals are going to do in the new year? Well without fail, I saw one in the papers today. This column invited three masters to give their opinions and advises. Well, I then, of course, took notice of my birth animal, the dog.

Generally, all three masters commented that it's not going to be an easy year for the dogs. Hmm... why isn't this a surprise then?... It's been freaking long since I've heard dogs are going to have a well to do year. Sigh... I guess a dog's gotta live a dog's life then...

One master said that dogs will not do well in their business. Well then, that should be a problem for me now, since I'm don't even know how long will it take before I can start a business of my own. Besides, I am and will for at least three more years, feed of tax payers money. At least I'm not fretting about them collecting taxes in the meantime.

Then, dogs will have a problem in their relationship. Hmm... should I be worried about this one?... Currently I'm even having problems getting into one... *-_-"*

Another master said that dogs who are still single should do more charity work in order to meet their partners. This, I'm confused... Does it mean I'm going to get a partner through charity now then? Or my relationship will be some sort of charity from the so called partner??? *>_<*

The third then commented that dogs will feel tired and fatigue throughout the whole year. OMG!!! I'm always so tired and fatigue!!... Am I going to crawl to work the following year??? OR should I ask someone to drag me there then??!!!?? *LOL*

And finally, the highlight of the advises *drum roll*.... dogs should avoid visiting patients in the hospital... *O[]O"* does that mean I should quit my ^%$#@! job now then??!!!?? *ROTFLOL*

Professionalism...

"Stop bitching the profession!!"

It's bad enough that other professionals in the same field are looking down on us. Don't let the people to do the same!! Hold your profession with dignity and potray yourself as a professional.

How the hell are we to build confidence in others when we ourselves do not hold dear to our title?

You are old enough to speak your mind and thus, you are old enough to think and to make better judgement before making any decisions to act.

Remember, it is ourselves who can make others bow with respect. It is never 'their' fault that we are being looked down upon.

Entering the Porcine Year...

Just another week and we'll be having our Chinese New Year... yeah!!! *dong dong dong cheng... dong dong dong cheng*... oh wait... can't do that cause I didn't pay royalty. *-_-"*

This would be my first year celebrating new year as a working class... So this year I'll be contributing no doubt. Many years had past where my parents had to bear the burden. Now, I, shall do it for THEM!! *TADAA!!*.... but with a measly pay, what big deal can I do *-_-"* *crow flying over head*. Sigh... well at least I'm contributing...

This would also be a year I'm celebrating new year in a rush. With only a week of rest and so many places and people to visit. Have to be in Ipoh and then back to K.L. Hmm... (hehe... collect ang pow at super speed... hehehehe....)

Sigh....

Life in the enforcement... well it's not too bad up till now. At least I've learned that ordinary people, no matter what profession, are governed by the law. Well, why did I say ordinary people, that's because these do not apply to people with "mountains" to back them up. So far, I've seen many cases where people do whatever they can, no matter how unethical, how it would spoil the profession's name or even how it could lead them to a horrible end, just to earn a few more bucks. Well... this is what the materialistic world is doing to everyone. Can't say I don't like to be rich though. However, really makes me think, why gamble something which you had worked hard for and spent so much time in? You learn just to get a chance to go wrong? Nah... don't think so... there must be other factors to consider.

Anyway... that's about what I do, or rather, get to do in the enforcement. Been to inpections, court cases and... ... wait... well other than those I've spent the entire time in the office. Think I'm getting better at freecell now. -_- (really unmotivated at the moment)

Insomnia

Jeez what's happening? Blogging at this hour shows I'm not getting to sleep... After all the tosses and turns, and it couldn't get any better with all this @#$^%&! mosquitoes around. What the hell? I'm the buffet table now? Damn it!... It's hot... and yeah by the way I'm getting quite restless as well. I should have been asleep by 23.30 if I was to get enough sleep for tomorrow. Guess I'll need the help of caffeine again.

Why am I still so alert... help!! Someone knock me unconcious...

"Prebet sapu" *Hon hon*

Ahh... yet another tiring day at the enforcement... However, today's exhaustion is unlike before, where I fight to stay awake and end up being totally beaten. My preceptor is back today and I've got work to do. Need to revise on my Acts again. (But no matter how many times I read it, it's still the same... *mumble mumble... -_-* I've been lucky so far as I've been going and coming back from work through car pool. Lucky me to have my time table overlapped with someone who has a car *^_^*. Though... she's on holiday for these two days... *-_-"*

So how did I get back home today.. haha... this is where the title comes in... the Kelantan's "prebet sapu" *star wars theme* I'm not even sure if I'm spelling it correctly though, giving that I don't even really know their slangs and accents well enough yet. Anyway, it's like a private hire. Oh, before that... we do not have Taxis here in Kelantan. Those you see which looked like one are called 'kereta sewa'. They charge at a different rate, namely by a car load. This means depending on the destination, the price to get there is fixed for the whole car. The only matter is whether you have the patience to wait for the maximum (4) amount of passengers to ride with you. If you have much to spend then, the heck with waiting, just ride alone paying the full amount. (This... evidently I cannot afford). The 'prebet sapu' are errmmm... well... you won't be able to recognise one if you saw it. It's like any other cars on the road. They'll give you a 'horn' when they see that you are in need of a ride and the charges are per person for the ride. So, with this, the passenger won;t have to worry if the driver gets a full load or not. Furthermore, it's cheap.

Hmmm... maybe it's not such a good idea after all for girls... Who knows? They may not be offering a service when they horn you. Savvy?

It's a Sunday...

Hah... Monday blues?? Never had them... Why should I??? Here we start on a Sunday. Sunday blues then?? *-_-* sigh...

As always... back to work tomorrow after two days of insufficient rest. (Humans are greedy, it'll never be sufficient). What made it worse that it's gonna be in the enforcement, and I have to take a bus at 7.15 in the morning. Guess I shouldn't complain though... since K.B. is much smaller than K.L. Maybe tomorrow I could get to meet my preceptor finally and at least start to get some job from him. I have the ermm desire?? err no... should be curiousity, to learn what they do in the enforcement but all I've done last week is sit in a room and read protocols and the act. Well, yeah we need to know the act, but I suppose practical work will provide more experience?...

Anyhow, it's back to work tomorrow... sigh... better go do my laundry... *drag... drag... drag... thump... ouch!! o_O*

Long time no see??

Whao, my first blog back here in Malaysia. Plenty had happened and I don't think that I should start pouring this website with all that have past. Hmm... didn't thought I'd blog again though. Well, it was like this, see... when I first got back, I didn't had much time to blog and well... I've also gotten lazy to do it (well, yes, I'm lazy... so?? -_-). Then the line here was not all that good.

Anyway, now, after 4 months, I've finally settled down (so called). I'm now currently a government servant in HRPZ II. WHAT??!!?? HAVEN'T HEARD OF IT!!?? well, i's in Kota Bharu, Kelantan, so, don't blame you. Finally got a feel of being a pharmacist and now my daily routine is work. Enjoy it though, when I was in the hospital that is. I'm now serving my time in the enforcement. Another sector which also involves pharmacists. Will be here for 6 weeks.

So far, life as a pharmacist (provisionally registered) is really ermm... well... interesting. Would have been better though if I'd gotten where I prefered working. Where? Near home of course... not some place which requires a freaking 8 hours bus ride definitely... Although, the condition here is not that bad. Only a little too slow paced for my taste. (Wonder if I'll ever cope if I get back to K.L.??)

Everyone else had been spreaded wide and far... In my opinion, IMU students have the widest coverage around Malaysia. Just so lucky enough, I'm not alone here. (Can't or should I say, don't even wanna imagine what'll happen if I was sent here alone... T_T!!??) Anyway, what had happened had happened and now I'll just have to make the best of it.

Goodbye Glasgow

A year have passed. Thinking about it now made time seem to have took a leap. Well, it's always like this isn't it? When everything is done and it's time to move on, time seem to have passed quickly. I've finally graduated and am really happy with the results. However, I will never be able to forget the time I've had here in Glasgow. I've even gotten used to the weather. Wonder how am I to survive the burning hot weather back in Malaysia. Take another few months to get used to I guess.

I'm certainly going to miss this place, Glasgow. Well, it's not much of an exciting place by itself. It's the company that I have with me that made the year exciting. I've travelled so many places within this one year, backpacking from country to country. An adventurous life... hehehe well, sort of. I've always liked to travel and see other peoples culture and country. Sort of like wandering from place to place. Hahaha... a dream partly fulfilled. I've got a feel of Europe now. Countries with great histories, folklore and architechtures. Certainly made where I come from seem boring.

Well, a working life is ahead of me now. Got to lay down a nice path for myself. Hope everyone will keep in touch. Hehe, but I have a feeling it's not that easy.

Taking a break

Phew... Hmm... seems like I like taking long breaks between posting a blog... When was the last... I think I was still having my final exam and was taking a break then. Anzway, it's been more than a month since my last paper. Well, I'll finally gotten over with my degree exam and am on my Europe tour.

It's been a long tour, 19 days now if I'm not mistaken. We started on the 1st of June to Brugges, Belgium and will be ending soon too. My last destination will be Lucens, Switzerland before heading back to Glasgow for my graduation. Yup, after a long tension debate about the AUT strike and the Universities, we finally get to graduate, and well on the proposed date too. So tere won't be any delay.

I'm now posting from Slovenia. What? Don't know about this place?? Hahaha... well neither did I. till yesterday. It's a quiet place the place I'm staying, Ljubljana, but if you go down to Portoroz, then you'll get to see the beautiful Adriatic sea. Spectacular... clear water... but not many beaches though. Tomorrow, I'll be heading to Lucens... mz last destination... time sure flies. Well, I can't be writing out about mz trip as it'll take ages to finish. To summarise the places I've been, well, from Brugges, Belgium to Amsterdam, Holland (try the space cake ;-p), to Munich, Germany, then to Prague, Czech. From there, to Bratislava, Slovakia (nothing much here... really a small quiet town), and then to Vienna and Salzburg, Austria. Next to Ljubljana, Slovenia and finallz will be heading to Lucens Switzerland. Phew... tiring but great trip... Spent most my time in a train though.

Ohh... by the way... my results were out on the17th... Congrats to those who got 1st class and well done those who got 2nd.